The Ryan Memorial Wing

The most exciting 5 minutes of your LIFE!

And I guess that's why they call it the blues...

Is there anybody out there?

So I decided to check out LJ for some odd reason.  Yet again, shocked that it still exists!  Now under control by our Russian overlords.

Seriously considering putting up that picture of Putin in makeup, just to see what would happen.

FYI, that could be my neighbor, Charly Putin, who lives here in Canada.  Not the Russian leader.

Re-reading some of the old posts again.  They seem like a lifetime ago.  Probably because they were.

I hope my son doesn't see this.

If I die, delete this page before he sees it.

Holy crap...yet again this still lives!

Seriously, I neglect her for years, I don't visit her.  I don't water or feed her.  Yet she sits here waiting for me to use her again.

And looking back on what I was writing before...holy shite I am one depressing son of a bitch.

Life is good now.  I want to write more...I guess this is the place to do it.


Ground control to Major Tom
 Holy crap this still exists...awesome!!

Um quick update, yes I am still alive.  Yes I'm still in Fort McMurray.  Yes I am still single.

That about covers it.

Since I can't leave on that note, I'm gonna leave you with a song!  No not the one I'm currently listening to as I type this.

Check out "Exile Vilify" by The National.  Bonus points if you can tell me where it's from!!


Rejection: In which our hero learns a valuable lesson...or does he?
Hello ladies and gentlemen.  It's been awhile.  I've sorta been outta commision recently.  What with no computer (my ipod was my savior!)  So let me update ya on where I stand in my life right now.

I stand alone.

Things kinda ended with the girl I was "seeing".  Things were way to complicated and I'll honestly say, I did some things that I'm not to proud of.  Do I feel bad about what happend, yes.  Do I regret, not at all.  Would I do it again...that's another story.

I know this sounds kinda cryptic.  I would offer more details, but for some reason I don't feel like boring you with a woe is me tale!  Besides day by day I'm getting better and better.  And who knows, maybe the Ryan of old will emerge yet again to rain down upon this world.  

So what's new?  Work is kinda interesting.  I find myself in a constant battle with my supervisor.  I think she hates me because I can do things in that warehouse alot better than her.  She hates my ideas even though they make sense, hates it when I call her out on things that I KNOW are right, and constantly is pestering me in my area.  Just leave me to my little corner of the place to do my work in peace dammit!!  That's all I want!!  AUGH!

And yes, I did get a new compy...and she is one sexy bitch!!  I need a good name for her though.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

I wish I had more to write about.  I actually do, but I'm not feeling to creative at the moment.  To sleepy and whatnot.  Maybe I'll try a longer post next time.  Cheers mofo's!!

You think you know something...
So I had the most remarkable conversation tonight with an old friend tonight.

Now this friend of mine, her and I had a fling a couple years ago.  It was during the time when Mel and I took a break from each other.  This girl and I met up at Ai-Kon and started talking.  We talked online for awhile and hooked up and kinda went out for a month or so before Mel and I patched it up.  I always felt bad for that in a way.  I just wanted to keep it friendly.  We were just having fun is how I thought of it.  Unfortunately she did develop feelings for me, and in a way I did to.  

So her and I stayed in touch.  We talked here and there.  Kept in touch.  She's engaged now, with a kid.  Things are going well for her in Winnipeg. 

Anyways, we were just talking tonight.  And we started chatting about the past and our history.  I apologize to her, I always did feel bad about what happened between us.  About what I did to her.  She then tells me that meeting me was a turning point in her life.  Before me, she ran with a bad crowd.  She was involved in drugs and alcohol.  A bad past...then she met me.  First night we met at Ai-Kon, we were chatting.  She had to take off and ended up running into some creepy guy on the way to the bus.  It really freaked her out.  Next day she found me at the con and was still kinda freaked.  So I walked her to her stop that day.  I thought nothing of it really.  Just being a nice guy.  Apparently it was more than that to her.

She called up one of her "friends", explained to him that she was freaked...and he didn't do anything.  So she told me and I went with her.  In that single act of kindness, she took a look at her life.  She got out of the drugs, got away from that group and turned around her life.  All for me...she told me she wanted to be a better person for me.    Here is an excerpt of the conversation.

"T" - it just didn't effect me like it did other people after i met you i just made up my mind that i was finished with that shit and i would never touch it again and i didn't. i quit cold turkey and never went through withdraw or nothing

"Me" - excellent! Good to hear!
"T" - all the thanks goes to you
"Me" - awww, No girl, I was just around, it's all you there. Your strength and will got you thru

"T" -but if u hadn't been there i had no reason to want to change you gave me that reason

So yeah...I never realized I had such an impact on her.  I never knew I did.  I always thought she was this girl that I hurt, not this girl that I helped.  It just made me feel helped someone.  Maybe I'm special...

Anyways, take care!

Day 2 - Favorite Movie
Well this is a tough one yet again.  It usually depends on my mood really.  My all time usually floats between 10 big ones that I'll always love.  So as per the first day, I'm going with what my favorite movie at the time is!  Click below to see the trailer!!

So yeah!  Reason it's my favorite right now is that my friend got it for me for my birthday and (in point form)

1 - It's one of my all time favorites!  SWEET!
2 - She got me the blu-ray edition!  DOUBLE SWEET!
3 - It's autographed by my favorite director!  TRIPLE SWEET!!

And yes, you gotta click on the trailer to find out what movie it is! 3!!

These are a few of my favorite things...

So I totally stole this from a friend of mine on LJ!  I was thinking...this is awesome!  I'm gonna try it!  And with my proven track record of consistently posting on here, it'll be a synch!!  Or however you spell it...So the list goes as follows!

Day 01 → Your favourite song

Day 02 → Your favorite movie
Day 03 → Your favorite television programme
Day 04 → Your favorite book
Day 05 → Your favorite quote
Day 06 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 → A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 → A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 → A photo you took
Day 10 → A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 → A photo of you taken recently
Day 13 → A fictional book
Day 14 → A non-fictional book
Day 15 → A fanfic
Day 16 → A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 → An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 → A talent of yours
Day 20 → A hobbie of yours
Day 21 → A recipe
Day 22 → A website
Day 23 → A YouTube video
Day 24 → Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 → Your day, in great detail
Day 26 → Your week, in great detail
Day 27 → This month, in great detail
Day 28 → This year, in great detail
Day 29 → Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 → Whatever tickles your fancy

So day 1, favorite song!  I'm gonna put this as favorite song at the moment!  And here we are with a classic tune! 2!  Stay tuned!

Insert Witty Title Here
So I just realized I haven't posted anything on LJ in forever.  I've unlocked the pattern as to when I post. 

I write when I'm alone.

Not alone in a room or if I have a couple of spare minutes.  I'm talking alone.  By myself little old lonely me.  Seriously check out my past posts.  Look way back before the "Mel" era of my life and you'll see that I use to post all the time.  Or at least regular enough to almost consider "all the time".  Then I hook up with her and BAM...barely a word.  

Well I did it again.  I get together with a girl and posts.  Maybe the occasional word here or there, but nothing for weeks. 

So now I sit here again, alone...damn that sucks.

I could go into a huge lament about her, but quite honestly, it's stupid.  Pointless, meaningless, and stupid.

That brings me to my point I so driven by my human nature to not be alone that I will desperately reach out to whoever is out there willing to listen.  Is my constant need for another person driving people away from me.  Like seriously, I'm a downer of a person at times.  It's always "woe is me".  Why can't I just break free of that funk and move on from stupid shit?  I so want to say fuck it all and just be happy by myself, but there is just such a need inside me to want to be with someone.  That as long as I have someone there, it's okay.  I feel better. 

Why do I need that?  What changed.  There was a time when I was happy it was just me.  I could spend hours alone, hanging out in my basement.  Bamming out, listening to music, reading and writing.  I do that now, and I feel sadness and I feel so lonely.  Which then gets me depressed cause I think of who I do want to be with and how hard it is not to be with her because she's with someone else.  And no, it's not Mel!  

So yeah...this human need to be with someone, just really fucking sucks.  I hate being like that.  I wish sometimes that I can just look at the world and say I don't need you.  I've got me and that's all that matters.

We'll see.

BTW...Snow out at the Suncor Oil Sand site is FUCKING DISGUSTING!!  Holy looks like snow.  All white and pure, but it melts into a black oily watery substance!  Pretty sure it's toxic and totally disgusting!!  Ick ick ick!!

Disturbing questions from limers! Don't worry, I'll get her back!
Questions from the demented mind of limers 

1. Leave me a comment and I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better.

2. Update your journal with the answers to the questions.

3. Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

You axed for it.

1. You're stranded on a desert island and you can have FOUR things. The catch? The must begin with R, Y, A, N. What are the things that you bring beginning with these letters?

Hmmm...I would bring:

Raft (booya!!),
You (So I would have someone to hang out with at least, hey if I'm stuck, may as well bring someone down with me!!  LoL)
Asahi Beer (It's the only one I can think of that starts with an A)
Night Vision goggles (Cause you never know what's out the dark....)

2. You're on this island with your four stupid things. You come across an old oil lamp. You open it to see if there is anything in there and a fucking genie pops out. He will give you ONE wish but only if you give him a bj (sorry, I was reading dirty comics all last night). What do you do? And what do you wish for if you choose to give him a thrill?

Ouch!  You made that one tough.  On one hand, I don't know if I could go down on a genie for a wish.  On the other hand I am alone on said island and nobody would know.  So if I did, I would wish for Winnipeg to have an NHL team back!!  Or a super power of some sort...LoL

3. A Marvel super heroine slinks into your room at night and tells you she wants to fuck your brains out. Who is she?

Oh there are so many to think about?  Rogue would kill me so she's out.  Mary Jane is taken.  The White Queen seems like she would want to be a "dominant" one if you get my drift.  I would say Black see how flexible that girl is!  DAMN!

4. Then The Juggernaut comes into your room and says the same thing. WHAT DO YOU DO?

I run like hell!  Although nothing can stop the Juggernaut so I would just wish for a quick death. 

5. Are you mentally scarred from these questions? Sry. :/

Yes, yes I am.  LoL!  Although that was fun!  I'm almost wanting another set!

What a wicked game we play...
So I've been spending alot of time with this girl here in Fort Mac.  And her and I have a great time together.  She's awesome to hang out with and totally fun!  She's into alot of the same stuff that I'm into and just overall great to be with.

Problem is I can't fall for this girl. 

Click here for the hot juicy details!!!Collapse )


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